A book is not necessarily a good book if you cannot put it down once you start reading it, or if you can finish reading the whole novel in one sitting or in a few days. Sometimes it can also mean, that in that book there would be no words beautifully strung together which you can savour nor any philosophical truths you can ponder upon.
There is no room for boredom in your life when you have a dog, only for laughter.
The future used to worry me. I used to lay awake at night concocting in my mind all possible evil scenarios that can befall my family and me. Things like losing our jobs, our home or even our lives. What if one of us have an accident that will prevent us from living our lives fully? What if Babar, our dog, falls ill and die? I try to imagine how I would deal and cope in these situations. My heart would race, and I would become very agitated. I would feel helpless and desperate as if those things were already happening to me right there and then.
Martin Heidegger, a German philosopher, had said that we human beings, true to the definition of our nature as ‘ beings’, constantly project ourselves in the future; wanting things, expecting things. Ahead is where we truly live, not in the present. We exist in our imagination of things we desired to do, and what we desired to be. The same can be said of our fear of misfortune falling on us. It holds our emotions captive, wasting our time and energy. A happy day can turn sour in a snap of a finger just by worrying about the future. Continue reading
A cool breeze touched my cheeks as I sat by the window, painting. The light outside the house turning golden as the day prepares to end. I turned to at look Babar who was lying down calmly on the floor. He raised his head, stood up and walked towards me. He wagged his tail happily as I brushed his head with my hands. I smiled, looking at his innocent wide eyes.
The pleasant weather lingered until evening. It lightened up our moods too. My husband and I kept on laughing over something trivial and silly while he ruffled Babar’s fur. Babar was sleeping contentedly on his stomach . The same lightness settled in my heart. I paused for a moment in acknowledgement. This is happiness.
-JMKhapra, copyright 2013
My mind is hardened by philosophy
But my heart remains soft with love
– JMKhapra, 2013
My heart lay bare. The walls around it crumbled little by little inconspicuously each passing day I was with you. Now, it loves like a child unfamiliar with sorrow or betrayal. Without reservation. Without hesitation. Ever trusting. I delight in the rawness of my emotions. I feel alive. I feel human.
Your heart lay bare. You did not build a wall around it. Ever. You love like a child unfamiliar with sorrow or betrayal. You always give yourself fully. Without reservation. Without hesitation. Ever trusting. The frankness of your emotions killed the cynic in me. It feels wonderful to be alive and to be with you.
To feel like this is beautiful and bitter sweet like poignant lines of a poem. Happiness and sadness, joy and pain add salt and pepper to life. Without it you are dead. Dead inside.
It is a good thing I did not give up on love. I was about to but I met you.
We are so different yet so much alike too. I am perpetually in awe of you.
You keep me whole, together, cohesive, sane. I will be lost without you.
With each passing year our love never faltered. It grows, it soars, it intensified.
If I ever did believed in fairy tales and happy endings then it seems my dreams have finally come true.
-JMKhapra, for my husband on our 6th wedding anniversary.
Do you have foresight? Given your current situation, are you able to predict where your life would be in ten years? It is eerie how the vision of the future unfolds clearly before my eyes. It makes me believe even more that life is not random. It moves in a neat, straight path, unbending and sometimes unforgiving. I am tempted to throw physics in the equation again. Please don’t roll your eyes, I know I talk about that a lot. It just that the universe is so exact in all the laws that govern it. It can be very stifling.
There are times my mind would open up. I can calculate human nature, plus a given situation equals the inevitable result. Older wiser people will say, oh, that is just what we call experience. Human actions and their consequences always fall into some kind of pattern that makes it easy to predict the outcome. I guess so. Still, I find that fascinating and terrifying at the same time. Rebels of the rigid rules of life always end up defeated in the end. There is no way to cheat the system. Continue reading