That day I saw you. Damn! The sun was hot. But you were hotter. A mirage, I thought you were. Your face. My brain had memorized. From childhood days when my eyes were permanently glued to the television. OMG! I bit my lips to stop myself from screaming. Are you that actor or are you the perfect doppelgänger? Then I realized you were the former. I walked towards my office. Pretending not to care. But my insides were shaking. Your rayban-ned countenance, in my head kept on popping. I had to stopped what I was doing. Funny, red, the color of your polo shirt how vividly I remembered.
Later we were introduced. I learned that we were assigned to work together. I stifled a shiver. Sandra, the office slut already hanging around your ankle. I feigned indifference. But really my heart was racing. You smiled. Oh boy. Was that a cruel joke of fate. A dream granted. A dream taken away.
You pursued me and we were like a cat and a mouse in chase. I was scared. Some dreams don’t come true I knew for sure. Besides I was committed to another. But you were relentless and we were ever constantly thrown together. How much can my heart resists? You were funny. You were kind. I should have know better. I’ve fallen hard. I feared of hurting another.
One night I asked you if we could meet. Something important, I have to tell you. It was dark and it was raining. On a bench in a park we held hand as we were sitting. Our clothes were wet but we did not care. Our emotions we laid bare. ” I’m getting married soon.” I told you. A sad smile you gave me. You leaned forward. Our lips touched briefly. I drew a long sigh. My heart twisting inside. “Is there nothing you can do?” you asked. I shook my head. “The wedding’s been planned much before I have met you.”
You took me to your house and led me to your room. You peeled my wet clothes and touched me as if I was a bride and you the groom. I sink deeper into love as you plung me in ecstasy. Then you whisperd ‘ You are so beautiful, my honey.’ I shivered in your arms. And you pulled me close to you. The sky continued to weep. So we held each other until we fell asleep. I woke up when the rain abated. ” I love you.” Three fatal words from my lips escaped. You stirred. And reached for me. A passionate kiss and a tight embrace we shared. In my memory I could not erased. Though now I can recall. I love you too, I thought you said but never did. How foolish was I. So enthralled. So mystified. You made me fall. And fell I did. But that was just your game. You did not feel the same.
My life was wrecked after a month or two. The one who loved me I dumped for you. Momentary insanity possessed my soul. Without you I could not live. How I begged you. You were flattered. For you were vain. So that was the end of the game. Just another girl to add to your collection. But I was hooked. Line and sinker. You were a drug stronger than cocaine. I was like a devil on your heel. I pursued you everywhere. Exasperated you agreed to meet again. I waited but you did not come. On the same bench I sat alone. Broken. Soaking in the rain. You disappeared. Gone. For good. You even changed your mobile number. Come Monday morning your desk was empty. Sneering, Sandra had said, ‘ He’s ran away from you.’ She laughed. Everybody laughed. And so I had to quit my job too.
Oh the agony I suffered. Never mind the humiliation. It all ended up with me in grave hospitalization. My insides were rotten. My heart was blacken. I was cut up. And sewed back again. But the pain remained. For years I hid my scar. Swearing never to be a fool again. But at night to the stars I prayed. Craving for you, I never stopped. But it was a darker kind of longing.
My cries must have reached the heavens for one day our path had crossed again. Oh how low the mighty had plummeted. You looked old and you were balding. But I hugged you and told you were still amazing. Your breath reeked of alcohol. In permanent inebriation you have fallen. I see your life has come to nothing.
‘ You are gorgeous. Why did I ever let you go? ‘ You slurred.
My heart was racing with anticipation. ‘ I’ve never stopped loving
you. But I’m happily married now.’ I lied.
Unavailability fanned your desires. Your ardor intensified. Your heart ached for me you said.
‘You lied. You lied.’ I replied.
‘ Yes I did. I did.’ Nodding, you admitted. ‘ But my love is true now. You must forgive me.’
I laughed inwardly. It was good to be on the other side.
‘ Oh but I am so torn.’ I moaned. ‘ I love my husband too. What should I do?’
‘ Leave him. Come away with me.’
A plan was hatched. A place was picked. A date was set. You came this time. On that damn bench you sat waiting like I did. But the irony was lost on you. I was there too from a distance watching you. You waited for me longer than I did for you. My phone rang and it was you. It rang and rang. Until morning it rang.
Last time I heard you drunk yourself to death. Did I cry? Did I cared? Not a tear had drop. But everyday I visit you with flowers in my hand spitting on your grave.
Revenge is a dish best served cold.
-Pierre Choderlos de Laclos.
* Illustration by Harry Clarke