Tokophobia

20120803-105231.jpg ” You’re pregnant! You’re pregnant!” her mother kept saying. She stared at her mother feeling sick. She did not know who had gotten her pregnant.

“ We have to find you a man to keep you warm at night. It’s painful being pregnant.” Her mother added. Looking at her very strangely.

She was holding her stomach. Something was moving in there. Her eyes grew large. She felt sick again.

She went to school the next day thinking her future was ruined. She kept thinking about the horrible experience of delivering a baby. The pain, the dampness and cold. She did not know how she knew about those feelings. Her young mind must have accumulated it from stories she had read.

“I have to lose the baby!” She told herself repeatedly. She tried everything to have a miscarriage. She jumped around. She lifted heavy things. Then on her way home from school she saw blood seeping in her skirt. She felt relieved. Light. Happy again. She was saved.

Then she woke up and her heart was pounding violently. Her limbs felt heavy she could not move. It felt so real. She gagged and rushed to the bathroom. She could not shake the feeling of dread in her stomach.

For a while after that she could not look at a pregnant woman without feeling queasy.

That dream really scared her for a long, long time. She was only fourteen years old then.

© JMKhapra

3 thoughts on “Tokophobia

    1. Haha. Getting pregnant when you are a teenager was one the fears of most of my friends at that time when were still studying. It was happening to a lot people we knew then. The dreams were the manifestation of the parents sternly warning us against this. You know naman how adamant they were that we finish our studies before marrying and all that.

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